Kane |
Jackel Island
Imagine a Paradise Gone Wrong
Jun 26, 2012
Kane
Jun 25, 2012
Joel
Joel was an enigma to me. Like Kane and Tariq, Tom’s twin kept mostly to himself. Only a good eye would be able to tell Tom and Joel apart in a photograph. Seeing either of them move or
change facial muscles was a dead give–away, as they held and carried themselves radically differently. Tom was animated and gregarious;
Joel was subdued and an introvert.
I used to think that Joel was a bit cold and aloof and I worried for
his only son, Derek, but I later learned
that with Joel, it was just shyness. I could
now see a sweet side to Joel which was passed to Derek by blood, only Derek
didn’t know enough to hide this quality in himself yet. Being sweet was not manly, or at least
Joel didn’t think so, apparently.
Joel |
“Listen, ahh… if anything were to ever happen to me
and my brother… heaven forbid I
mean, could you look after my
son? He takes to you, and you’re so good with him.”
I was proudly
astounded, though I wondered why his
offer wasn’t passed to Joel’s wife,
or his father.
“Why Joel, of course I will. I don’t take this lightly. I… I’m touched that you asked me
this.”
The whole time we spoke, Joel stared at the tablet that each of us held between us.
Jun 24, 2012
Tom, our Leader
While Jim
is like a father to me, Tom is like a big brother and is most protective of
Darcy, Derek, and even me. Jeremy
too, or anyone he considers weaker.
One time, Grady was being hard on Jeremy, calling him a girl, telling
him he needed to bronco up, until Tom finally told Grady to knock it off. While Tom is tall and thin and somewhat
solid, Grady, like all the men in Security, has a marine body and is very
trained in hand-to-hand combat.
When Tom stood up to him, Grady looked at Tom in disbelief with his
mouth open, but he said and did nothing to Tom, and stopped teasing Jeremy.
When
administration matters arise, which occasionally calls for a meeting at Central
Lodge, Tom is most professional and takes charge well, not in an over–bearing
way, though not weak–mannered either.
His leadership is a comfort to me, but sometimes I felt that Adrian is
equally in charge, a strong force in the background.
At our
campfires, everyone lets their armor down a bit, Tom most of all, and he tells
us animated stories of his rebellious teen years, stories that surprise as well
as entertain us. He tells us with
a boyish eagerness that is quite charming and captivating.
Tom got in
his share of high school fights.
Coming home a bit bloodied with ripped shirts would engage his
father. Joel (Tom's twin brother)
once asked his brother “why all the fights?” and Tom had responded “I just can’t
stand it when people are wrong.”
Joel
remembers a time when they were in second grade, and fourth graders were
verbally picking on them. Joel and
his brother were tall and thin for their age, and one of Joel’s attackers was a
stocky ten–year–old. Joel only
reached the other boy’s chin, and the third boy had a reputation as a
contentious bully. Being called
names and shoved a bit didn’t bother Joel much; he just tuned them out. But it incensed Tom to no end, and at
seven years old, Tom swung fists and pulled at the three fourth graders,
attempting to land each of them in the mud under the swings, to which he
surprisingly succeeded.
One
evening in Darcy’s cabin, she and I got our hands on several bottles of red
wine and proceeded to get drunk, a rarity for me but not so much for
Darcy. Tom came into Darcy’s
cabin, and to his surprise, found us drinking. He quickly caught up with us, his two gulps to every one of
our sips. When the bottles were
empty, Tom revealed that as a teen, he had hated his father and believed him to
be an evil man, claiming that his father slept with a couple of neighbors’
wives, took business bribes, and unethically adjusted financial figures. Darcy stroked his short black hair as
Tom looked off in the distance with a hardened face.
Jun 23, 2012
Tariq, our cook
I am no longer
afraid of Tariq, at least not totally.
There are times when an after–work pony ride in the late afternoon on the sand by
the ocean will fall into early
evening, and I miss dinner. The first
time this happened, I had tip–toed into the kitchen during campfire to ask for a grilled cheese
sandwich, thinking that would be easy for
him to make. Tariq was finishing cleaning up the dinner plates. When he saw me, he sounded off about how I was late for a dinner
he labored over. “What da matter with you? Why you
miss dinner? This is not good!” I had stood there waiting for him to pause so I could ask for
the sandwich, but he never stopped
complaining to me. He just
continued yelling, and while carrying
on, he went to get a plate of leftovers
that he had prepared for
me. “Missing dinner is no
good! It’s jahst no good!” he hollered as he handed me my covered
plate. He had kept it warm.
Later, in my cabin, when I had
uncovered the dish Tariq had prepared for
me, I discovered that he had placed a
pink lotus flower diagonally across the plate and over the food.
Another
time, on my day off, I had planned to go on a morning pony ride into
the woods to see the wild horses on
the east side of the island, with intentions of spending most of the day out by
myself. I told Jim. Jim told Tariq. Brian came to my cabin door early
that morning with a picnic lunch that
Tariq had prepared for me.
Brian relayed a message from
Tariq, stating if I didn’t eat it all
and brought back any food uneaten,
there’d be hell to pay.
Jun 22, 2012
The Doctor
I visit the doctor as often as I can. He
always welcomes me affectionately. “Jamieee!” he says when I enter the Medical doors, the last syllable of my name ending on a lower note. Then he pours me coffee into the dark green mug.
My visits are either a medical need like the
monthly blood test I need to do, or more frequently, a social visit. Derek
comes to visit the doctor frequently, as does Tom, Darcy, and Brian. Derek
and the doctor have a special grandfather–grandson bond, with Jim giving him sweets
he orders just for Derek, and Derek swinging his legs as he sits on the exam table, telling the
doctor all about his fishing adventure, wonders he finds on the island, or how Adrian is teaching him silat. Of course,
we all visit the doctor when we need medical attention – a stubborn splinter,
a headache, stomach problems, a nasty
cut, sunburn…
As we sip our coffee, we tell each other about how our day is going, how we grew up,
and what we miss from home. Jim confides in me that he misses his
wife terribly, so much it has become
a physical ache. When he describes her
to me, his face softens and becomes sad, where
his lips smile but his eyes don't.
He writes to her every
day from the computer room. He says after he returns home from Jackel Island, he will never leave her again.
I told him about the kindness I remember from my mother and father, and then
the harsh contrast when I was forced
to live with my Aunt and Uncle after my parents were killed when I was nine.
“Did your
Uncle ever draw blood when he hit you?”
“No, I can’t say that he ever did. And it wasn’t
like I was bruised really either. It was just a lot
of shoving and pushing and yelling and ignoring.”
I picked at my thumbnail. “I don’t know…” After some silence, Jim reached over to pull my
one hand away from the other.
“Do you stay in touch with them?” he asked.
“No, not really,” I said. “I sent them Christmas cards
for a while, and my Aunt responded, just signing both their names. There was never a note, just their names.”
“Do they know you’re
here?”
“No.”
“They must have been proud of your accolades
with your work with the horses in
the States, weren’t they?”
“I don’t know. I suppose, I guess… maybe a little.”
“Well Jamie,”
Jim said, setting his clay coffee mug down, “I
am proud of all you’ve done. I truly
am. And until my time is up,” he said, touching his finger on the table with the words until,
time and up, “I’ll send you a
Christmas card every year.
With a note.”
Jun 21, 2012
Derek
Derek |
I really get a kick out of nine–year–old Derek, not just because he's always giving
me his treasures from the island, but because he always seems to be bouncing
up to me when I least expected it to show me a conch, a butterfly, a unique twisted limb from the woods, an interesting bug, a colorful flower, discarded snake skin that lays like torn tissue paper
in his hand, a tortoise shell,
bamboo… and he gives these items to me as gifts. I didn’t have the heart
to throw them away, but I didn’t know
what exactly to do with
them. I didn’t have space in my
small cabin, and I figure it
wouldn’t be good for a tortoise shell or snakeskin from a dead
reptile, bugs, or tiny insects inside
tree limbs to lay where I slept. So I keep a little “Derek Garden” outside just behind my cabin with all the
treasures he gave me. As I
lay Derek’s recently dead butterfly
against a teak tree, I thought of all
the gems inside the tree knot that
Boo Radley gave to Gem and Scout in To Kill a Mockingbird.
One night at our
campfire, Derek presented a live
banyan tree frog to me in his cupped hands. When he passed me the frog
and I tried to take it, the frog slipped out between our hands and jetted in the woods in one huge
desperate leap. Derek
looked terribly upset. I was touched and pulled him to sit in
my lap, which he respectfully refused, telling me he stopped sitting in
laps ages ago. “Well Jamie, I’m not too old for
laps,” Grady said from the fire pit, to which Darcy said, “You’re such a creep of huge magnitudes!”
Jun 20, 2012
Jeremy
Jeremy |
Jeremy is like a little brother to me. He's totally oblivious half the time, always mispronouncing words and facts, not getting it when people became annoyed with
him, childish, immature, not aware of boundaries or personal space, but totally lovable and would
do anything for anyone he considered a friend. Often after work, I go to
the beach and find Jeremy sitting on
a rock playing his tin whistle. I sit next to him and listen,
letting the mellifluous sounds wash the stable grime off me. Yesterday,
he stopped playing his song and matched his whistle to a seagull’s cry in perfect
pitch, making me giggle uncontrollably. After I stopped laughing, I extracted a worn photo of my father from my pocket to show Jeremy, only a huge wind gust snatched the
photo from my hand and soared it bouncing along the sand towards the sea. Jeremy flew off
the rock and ran to get it back for
me, but the wind carried my photo further
out and further out until it finally landed into the sea. I screamed. Without thinking, Jeremy ran
into the water as the waves crashed into his teen–thin body, and he thrashed about, grabbing at the moving square
glossy paper that glittered in the
sun. After several minutes, he
came back to me holding the dripping
and ruined photograph of my father.
"Here. Sorry!"
Jun 19, 2012
Close Friends (Brian)
Brian |
“Brian,
does Tariq scare you?” I asked him
one day when it was just he and I sitting in Central Lodge. It was an
hour before dinner, and it was raining hard. “I
mean, Tariq being your boss and all. When you’re preparing meals with him in the kitchen, does
his constant carrying on scare you?”
“Well, he used to scare me a lot at first,
and he still does kind of.” Brian
adjusted his shirt over his large
stomach and pushed back his curly
blond hair. “But mostly, Tariq is just full of hot air, kind of like Earl."
We were
both half–laying half–sitting on the same couch at opposite ends with our knees bent, our sneakers touching in the middle of the
couch.
“Why? Does Earl scare
you?” Brian asked.
"He used to, at first,” I said. “But I’m getting
used to him.”
I lightly kicked Brian.
He kicked me back. Then we
kicked each other about twenty times.
Jun 18, 2012
Falling Into Rhythm
As the nights fall into days, and the days fall
into weeks, I have fallen into a gentle rhythm
here on Jackel Island. I can feel the beat of the island and
I flow with it. Waking to the
symphony of birds each morning, I feel a heightened sense of everything, the feel of shower water
on my skin, the smell of the sea air
with all its rich foliage, the awe of
blue and white and yellow and violet flowers in the fields where the wild horses graze, orange and pink sunrises, the weight of humidity that lingers in the air and fills it,
the taste of food where each
sensation, sweet–sour–bitter–salty, is amplified, the mournful call of seagulls by day and merbau crickets
at night, and the tropical sun tingling
and dancing in my pours... I can no longer imagine not living on Jackel Island. I want to stay here forever.
Jun 17, 2012
Kane and his "Religion"
Yesterday morning I watched the air
turned from black to silver to
gold as I headed through the path towards the ocean,
feeling the dew from the jambu bush and red
wax ginger as I brushed my fingers along their leaves.
When I heard the ax, I knew Kane was around the corner. Kane was forever
chopping wood for our nightly campfires. He says chopping wood is
meditative for him.
Kane |
Kane is an unusually large man, with mild African features, and he has a hint of slanted eyes that holds a fixed piercing gaze. He looks almost Egyptian. Kane is strong
and soft at the same time, intense and mild, keen and fluid.
Adrian told me
that chopping wood is Kane's religion. This confused me. I asked Kane
what his religion was. He said he followed the Odiwanchi way. I asked
what that was.
“It is a religion
of non-religions. It is where a person learns to hear
their heart, to see with their
inward eye. Though there are countless claims, no one person knows all things.
Every religion is a thought or
an interpretation that comes from
a person, a human being. Sometimes, this thought is shared and believed by millions of people. Every
person is on a different path. One person cannot
tell another person the truth,
though he can tell him his own truth. Truth must come from within each person. It is not something that is told or taught, but self-discovered.”
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)